One Test to Fry Them All
by Whilemina J. Farnsworth III
Summary: What happens when LOTR characters have to take MCAS. read inside for full reasoning


A.N.- well, for all of you students in Massachusetts, today might have been one of the days that you had to take the dreaded MCAS test. For all of you lucky people who have no knowledge of this evil shudder test, I will BREIFLY explain. MCAS is a standardized test put out by the Mass. DOE. (Dep. Of Edu.) in short, it is one hour for about four days in a row of pure, unadulterated, torture. It's freakin' agony! So, today I got to take the first section of the Mathematics test, and may I safely say, my brains almost fried out. no it wasn't THAT hard, just pure monotony. Monotony. (sorry, it's kinda fun to be repetitive with the word monotony.) I was glad that I brought my copy of The Hobbit to keep me sane afterwards, and it led me to thinking… what would our friends from The Lord of the Rings do in a situation like this? Well, sit back, relax, and try not to be too disturbed by the fallout of my post-MCAS funk. And for all of you people in Mass that put up with this recently, or have it soon, more power to ya!

Disclaimer-thingy: I own nothing. Just my sick little mind, the text you are reading, and my computer. J.R.R. Tolkien owns LOTR, and the Massachusetts Department of Education owns MCAS (Massachusetts Comprehensive Assessment System). I would like LOTR, MCAS they can keep. In fact, I never want to make contact with MCAS ever again.

Story notes: I have all of the characters (the main ones) in here, and they are their usual selves, usual outfits, everything. They aren't out of place. Well, okay, they _are_ but no one notices. Or they do, and just don't care. Well, there is a bit of OOC. But that's purely the test's fault. **IT DOES THESE THINGS TO YA, MAN!**

One Test to Fry Them All…

The class filed into the room, grumbling about what was to come.

"Come on, class, sit down. Let's get this over with as soon as we can." Their teacher, Mrs. Galadriel smiled at her class. "I like this just about as much as you do, so let's try to make this as least painful as possible. I have to read out the rules, even though you probably feel like it's been laser-inscribed into you skull." And she read the rules, which were, in all basic-ness:

-Don't cheat. You cheat, we shoot you.

-You aren't supposed to write in your test booklet.

-Read ALL directions

-It doesn't matter, really, if you write in the test booklet. We're just gonna destroy it anyways. (A.N.- screwed up, I know.)

-When you finish, if you finish ahead of time, hand in your test. Sit quietly and read.

-If you start on section 2, we'll fail you, possibly resulting in you not graduating. (I'm dead serious, they pretty much draw and quarter people who screw up.)

"So, class, I am going to hand out the answer booklets. Please fill out your name in the area provided, last name first. If your last name is too long, Legolas, fill in as much as you can. For your first name, write your full name. NO nicknames. So, Aragorn, you must write Aragorn. No writing Strider, Longshanks, Ellesar, Estel, Wingfoot, Dúnedaín, or anything else for that matter. Write Aragorn. And, Merry and Pippin, no filling in the bubbles. I know you love that, but you can't for this. Save that for the multiple-choice questions. " She handed out the answer sheets, and everyone filled them in. "Now I'm going to hand out the answer booklets." Everyone filled in the info there.

"You may begin."

There was a lot of shuffling of papers and scratching of pencils. The test had begun.

5 minutes later

Legolas had decided that he was going to go crazy. Yes, the normally perfectly composed and calm Elf was ready to shoot a hole in his desk and jump out the window. (Can you shoot a hole in a thick plastic desk with an arrow?) The question made no sense! How, in the name of Valar was he supposed to find the number of 8th graders out of 244 when the ratio of 7th to 8th was 3:4? Where did they come up with this? He was going to lose his mind.

Over with Aragorn…

Well, things had gone smoothly up 'til now. he had answered all of the questions easily, but this one was weird. Just that kinda, um, Well, it was a multiple-choice. Let's guess. Hopefully he won't choose the obviously wrong one…

Merry and Pippin…

Well, they had fun filling in the bubbles, and they drew minute drawings in them. They doodled in the answer booklet, and tried to figure out the answers. Now that they really looked at it, it wasn't AS torturous as they thought. Just a little less so. Well, they knew that they wouldn't fail, but as to their sanity, that was in question right now. yes, they soon might too go insane.

Frodo/Sam…

They had a pretty good grasp on math. It was actually rather easy. They just found this boring.

Gimli…

He, being a dwarf, had to be good at calculations. It was all things that he had learnt at a young age. Wasn't hard at all.

And…

Boromir!

He had learnt all of this, but he couldn't remember an ounce of it. Who would have though that the Son of the Steward of Gondor would suffer a mental breakdown over something so small. Pity…

About an hour later, it was time for lunch. Everyone trudged out of the classroom, nearly dead, thinking it was finally over. And then it hit them.

There were three more days of it left.

MWAHAHAHAHAAA!

Read and review!

A Note-the MCAS started, for me, on the 15th. It would have been posted then, had I had time. Also, this might be a one-shot, but if I get enough reviews, I'll expand it.


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